Daydream

 India hadn't always been home. Growing up in a country that isn't yours meant that you saw both countries in new light in as you get older. 

I wish people could be observed like that. 

The problem is that people can carry out actions. Not like how a country acts, but like  a free human who has a life full of choice, love, fear, power, joy, regret, rage and jealousy. 

For example, me. 

My head and quite a bit more of my body is currently bandaged. 

I am in pain, and I don't remember how I got here. 

Or well... what happened. 

Or why I feel so uncomfortable that my mom's here (she's my mother, I love her, I'm hurt, moms take care of their kids.)

Quick, give me a conundrum as old as time! Ask me where gravity comes from, or how electicity works if electrons behave differently when observed. I don't understand why I feel the way I'm feeling (broken bones notwithstanding), so I'll try and figure everything else out, haha. So typical of me. How useless.

I keep telling myself to examine the situation, to examine myself and my mother to know why dread has installed itself in my abdomen. I keep letting the dread win. I am terrified of what I might find. 

I must tell you at this point, that it looks like I've lost a few years of my memory from before the accident. Just a couple of years. That's what everyone else has been saying. I remember my address, phone number, mum and family. I did not remember that it's 2025 (geez wtf) or that I'm 27, not 23 years old. 

It's a trip and a half to be honest.

I don't remember the accident at all, or what I was allegedly doing in in the mountain villages. Or how I ended up here, in the hospital. Mum says she was with me but I know she never had the knees for such activities. So who was with me? If it was trekking, wouldn't anyone from camp come to check up on me? Mum says I had no friends. That makes me sad, scared, confused and angry.